Death

It is not an easy thing to lose two of the most important people in your life in less than 6 months. However this is now a reality which I have to face in my life.

Most of you know that earlier in the year I lost my Pop to cancer, this was hard enough. Last week I lost my Nanna after she suffered a heart attack from which she never recovered.

Yesterday I attended her funeral, far too soon after seeing my Pop off.

I feel at ease in the fact however that they are once again together again, and that God didn't let them be apart for too long. In the Euology it was read that my Nan died from complications after a heart attack, but it could be said that she really died of a broken heart.

For some reason I thought that I would always find my Nanna's death harder to bear than my Pop's. However because it was so sudden and I didn't really get a chance to say goodbye I find myself in disbelief rather than mourning.

The reality has hit however.

I know that I will not see them again, and all I have now is precious memories of the love they showed for me.

My Nan was like a mother to me. After my mother died when I was aged 2 she stepped in and raised me and my brother. Although I don't really remember it very well I still created a closer than normal attatchment to my Nan which has lasted all my life. This I am very thankful for.

My Nanna was a good christian and loving person. You would not find a more caring person in the world. She gave me many of the values that I hold dear today and I am the better person for having known her let alone having her as my Nanna.

The reality of life is that we all need to die sometime. Nanna knew this and I beileve she was never afriad of it.

Still, I always thought that she was invincible and that she would never die. I was nieve to think that. But can you blame me?

Nan was the type of person who was interested in everything I ever did. If I went to a mates house for a sleep over I would get a call the next day asking how it was. Although it did become annoying at times, I think this is something that I will miss most.

I also fear that I may now starve. Nan was one of those people who force fed us everytime time we visited. It was only 3 weeks ago that I was at her house and she was constantly feeding me food. I loved that about her.

My one regret would be that she won't be around to see me turn 21. It was so close and it will not be the same without her here.

I do feel comfort in the fact that Nan is now in a good place. Her faith in life after death has been rewarded.

I am not a religious person, however I do believe that there is something after life.

And when it is my time there will be a house where I will go where my Nan and Pop and Mum are waiting for me. The smell of home and a good meal.

Rest in Peace Nanna, I love you.