478 boorish, insentives and socially obnoxious pointers for leading a simple, self-centered life.

Well not quite 478, but here are a few of them anyway. It's what the book told me to write. Some good ways to just plain old fuck people off.

1. Signal left, turn right.
2. Hire a devious accountant; it's like giving yourself a raise.
3. Give little kids clothes for their birthdays.
4. Borrow a book and dog ear the pages.
5. Remind people that their freckles could be cancerous.
6. Tailgate the elderly.
7. Blow out other people's birthday candles.
8. Dress 15 years younger.
9. Crack your knuckles.
10. Block the entrances of elevators, buses and subways.
11. Gamble with rent money.
12. Dream up special requests for waiters or waitresses.
13. Every umbrella is yours.
14. Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
15. Answer a question with a question.
16. See what it takes to get the life guard to blow their whistle.
17. Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures or people in rest homes.
18. Stopping for red lights after midnight is always a waste of time.
19. See if you can be the first one off the plane even if you are sitting by the window.
20. Before exiting elevators push all the buttons.
21. Don't do anything until you've been asked twice.
22. Say like at the end of sentences, like.
23. Read over people's shoulders on the bus.
24. Revenge is sweet, get some.
25. When it says resevered parking , that means you.
26. Curse the umpire at a little league game.
27. Bribe kids, they are easy.
28. Get a back seat driver lesson.
29. Support the death penalty for parking violations.
30. Repeat yourself.
31. Repeat yourself.
32. Repeat yourself.
33. Tell teenagers how things were in your day.
34. Hand out business cards at funerals.
35. Pee in the swimming pool.
36. Wear golf shoes on newly polished wooden floors.
37. Take the biggest piece.
38. Forget the punch line, but don't let that stop you from telling jokes.
39. Race the old woman for the last bus seat.
40. Take forever to find your word in scrabble.
41. Walk tall, carry a big stick, and use it.
42. Install a siren in your car.
43. Take money from your kids piggy bank.
44. Walk very slowly and make sure nobody can get past you.
45. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus.
46. Don't stand during hymes or anthems.
47. Live in a glass house and throw stones.
48. Play with fire.
49. Put pennies in the collection plate.
50. Make scary faces at babies.

There were heaps more but I couldn't be fucked, here's another one

Leave things un - finis...............