What do you get when you have 5 engineers, 1 physiotherapist and 1 Childcare professional, One hell of a night out!

Last night i finally hit the town for the first time in about 2 1/2 months. It was a good night out and the sleep in this morning was even better. We started off from my house with myself, sammy, sean, nordy and wizza. We first went to the belgium beer bar however we did not enter due to the fact it was packed. We did however come away with Ravo and I decided we should go the the west end due to the fact that the east end was full of holden and ford rednecks. (holden's aren't rednecks just the fords) We headed to the Connel Light and had a few drinks however to our dismay they managed to run out of pretty much any type of spirit including my much beloved CC.

So we decided to head to garage at about 11.45 where we were forced to wait outside for awhile due to the fact the bouncers wanted even ratios of guys and girls (low and behold when we went in it was none other than a huge sausage fest anyway, fucking idiots). Anyway sam and I went to the bar and I bought twoo CC's giving the guy a 20 dollar not. The bartender givers me the drinks then gives me 36 dollars change. I was quite happy with that little gain of interest and bought the boys some drinks.

We stayed at garage for a bit and got our groove on to some laid back dance music (quite good actually) Sam and I took Ravo under our wings and taught him to fly (showed him how to bust a move or two). Meanwhile Borgas arrived and went straight to what he does best woeing the ladies. This time however he met hi match and tried his moves on a 33 year old girl. Soon after Sean decided to try his luck on the same girl with his usually approach of insulting the hell out of her (saying she looked her age).

We stayed awhile then borgas suggested we go to a little pub down a dark street. Our now group of seven followed borgas into the unknown (we thought he was going to rape us) instead we ended up at a pub called Emily something (can't remeber). It was a nice little place not busy and we talked to some people there one of which was a girl who was a huge PC. She brought some humour when she said she couldn't pick any of us as gay except for you pointing to Ravo. We all laughed. By this time the pub was closing so we were forced to leave and we headed down the road to APH. On the way we found some caterpillar mini steam rollers and we proceeded to jump on them to try and hot wire them. We were extremely unsuccessful even when we had 5 engineers a physiotherapist and a childcare professional all on the job.

So we finally made it to APH and ate some good pizza. We split up and caught some taxis home and that was the end of the night.

I look forward to going out again in another 2 1/2 months, YAY.

Hearing noises and wishing you were there

Today I was at childcare all day again (like I will be tomorrow) and all day long I could hear the distant roar of motor car racing, a true passion of mine. Throughout the day I was thinking to myself what the hell am I doing looking after kids when I could be trackside watching one of the biggest motor festivals in the world take place.

I still don't know whether I will go on sunday (if anyone is going let me know and I might tag along). I have been the past three years on the sunday and have enjoyed every minute of it. Hopefully next year I will be able to buy my four day grandstand tickets and go for the full four days, get pissed and watch cars race around a track is there nothing better.

In other news formula one has again started for the year (a little late I know). Due to the Commonwealth games however they have changed the date for the Melbourne Grand Prix. They have had the first two rounds in Baihran and Malaysia and in a week they will be in Australia once more. I would also like to go to Melbourne one year to see this motor event also.
This year the Formula V10 engines have been down graded to V8's, this may sound like a big deal however these engineers are so good you can hardly tell the difference and the lap times aren't suffering too much either. They also got rid of the stupid rule of not being able to change tires during a race (thankgod), however they are still keeping up with the engine having to last two rounds which still makes it challenging and interesting.

Anyway enough ranting about motor sport

I'll seeya all trackside

Ever write so much that your arm feels numb

Well thats what I have been doing writing and writing and you guessed it more writing, and my arm is actually getting quite numb. A bit like when you fall asleep on your arm, and wake up the next morning in a panic thinking someone has chopped it off while you were sleeping because you can no longer feel it. Thats how numb it is. And I also wake up like that quite often which can't be a good thing.

I have too much work to do which is quite gay. This is due to the fact i have to have my First week plan ready for the centre by Friday and I am still in the process of extracting information from my observations.

On another note after about 10 straight weeks of working Sunday's, this Saturday it is finally time for me to go out and party. That's right Ben is hitting the town once more so expect the return of the infamous pixie dance, and yes Marty I will be shaking your hand all night.

This weekend is again the time for the V8's to hit the streets of adelaide. I am usually there with my holden colours on however I haven't decided whether I am going to go this year due to the fact I will be having a huge night on Saturday night and the fact that I still have lots of work to do. In a few weeks however i will be saying goodbye to placement forever (until uni of course) and will only have a term left of my course.

So to all those who wish to join me on this saturday eve, give me a call and let me know, its going to be big.

45 and still alive

I was waiting to catch the bus this arvo in the lovely neighbourhood of Croydon (pigs arse) and these two middle age guys come stumbling down the street from the local Sip n Save with a 2 litre bottle of coke in one hand and a brown paper bag wrapped around some form of alocohol in the other. They must have stopped about ten times on the one little stretch of foot path that led from the bottle o to the bus station where I was sitting.

These guys are living the life aren't they. Two probably 50 year old men walking down the street completely fucked up with more booze in their hand that they bought with their dole money. Who the hell walks down the street at 3 o'clock in the arvo on a Monday pissed off their nut. Shouldn't you be working. They are either dole blugers or retired dole blugers now living off the pension.

All I can say is Croydon is the place to live if you want to get pissed on a monday arvo. Or be one of the teen pregnancy kids who had sex with their 15 year older boyfriend at the age of 16. What a world we live in.

B-I-N-G-O, and BINGO was his name Oh.

No I haven't gone completely insane from singing Bingo with the kiddies at placement, although it is quite fun. No last night I took up Matts advice and was dragged out of my comfort zome by Hails to Bingo at Bedford Industries.

Now i know what you are all thinking. Ben has finally admitted he is retarded and has joined the mentally retarded in their weekly game of Bingo, well I hate to disappoint but that is not the case. In fact it is more like that I have suddenly felt that i am "retiring age 65" and joined the oldies.

I must say it was quite a lot of fun and an easy way to make some money if you manage to win. It costs 4 bucks to play like 30 games and you win about 25 bucks if you get bingo. I decided just to play the one game on each game. However some of these oldies go nuts and have six cards to check as the numbers are being called. Normally that would be okay if you were playing bingo in a retirement home however this was like speed bingo with numbers coming out faster than I could cross them off. Anyway a good night was had and I think we might be going again next week for those interested.

Placement is really starting to get hard as I have a shit load of work to do and only a small amount of time to do it in. I have taken on the responsibilities of team leader in the centre for the kindy's and this means that I have to actually act responsible. In about 3 months I will be finishing this course and I could (if I wanted to) start working full time in a childcare centre looking after children and planning experiences to help their development. Believe me it's not as easy as throwing out some lego blocks and some paper and pencils and letting the children go wild. No we have to look through the SACSA document (daw you will know what I am talking about) and look at each individual child and determine what types of experiences wouold help them to develop different skills and understandings. It gets to be quite annoying really. I have three more weeks of placement followed by some much deserved holidays. Can't wait.

Make mine a double Bartender

Man life is gay at the moment my weeks consist of the following.

Monday - Tafe 9.30am - 4.00pm

Tuesday - Tafe 9.30am - 12.30pm, go home and do Tafe work

Wednesday - Childcare Placement 7 1/2 hours

Thursday - Childcare Placement 7 1/2 hours

Friday - Childcare Placement 7 1/2 hours

Saturday - Finally a sleep in then work in afternoon anywhere between 3 and 6 hours

Sunday - Work Woolies 8am - 5.30pm

As you can see I don't really have much time to myself and the time that I do have is usually spent doing Tafe work, sleeping and eating.

I am sick of working weekends and it has know been close to 3 months since I last went out on a Saturday night. I also can't remember the last time I got completely drunk and that is really quite depressing.

Hailey and my mates are the only things that are keeping me sane. I need to get out more.

This is also the reason why I haven't been posting much lately because my life is completely boring.

March 20th a holiday for the blokes

Okay I would like to thank Matt for opening my eyes to this unknown holiday for us blokes. Sorry this holiday is for the men with their own woman or if your lucky enough to pick one up on the day. I am not going to spoil the fun for you instead go to this website:

http://steakandblowjobday.g-spotting.net/

I think it explains it best. And to all you guys who spent all that time on Valentines Day enjoy.

Oh by the way.

I like my steaks medium rare.

You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

You may remember in an earlier post in this blogs life I quoted several lines out of one of my favourite movies, that movie being Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Well I now feel it is the time to open the doors to it's sister movie by Guy Richie. The ever lovable Snatch.

Brick Top: Do you know what a nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt— me.

Avi: Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What?
Avi: Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you mean, "Look in the dog"?
Avi: I mean open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's not a fucking tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?

Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

Avi: Eighty-six carats.
Rosebud: Where?
Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Avi: London.
Gemologist: London?
Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot over there?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight?! You could land a jumbo fucking jet in there.

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. And these two on either side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.

Sol: He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone?
Tyrone: 'course I am...
[reverses into parked van]
Vinny: A natural fucking idiot.
[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. It's not as though it's a bag of fucking peanuts now is it?Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind ya'

Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.

Turkish: [looks at the caravan] Look at it. How am I suppose to run this thing from that? We're gonna need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're going to buy it for me.
Tommy: Why me?
Turkish: Well, you know about caravans.
Tommy: How's that?
Turkish: You spent a summer in one, which means you know more than me. And I don't want to have my pants pulled down over the price.
Tommy: What's wrong with this one?
Turkish: [Pulls the caravan's door from its hinges] Oh, nothing, Tommy. It's tip-top. I'm just not sure about the colour.

Policeman: So, what you doin here?
Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman: What's in the car?
Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.

[His fighter has just been knocked out]
Tommy: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: You'll have to say that again, I don't think I heard you?
Tommy: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: Well where'd ya lose him? He's ain't a set of car keys, is he? It's not as though he's incon-fucking-spicuous, now is it?

Turkish: Well I reckon the little rabbit gets fucked.
Tommy: [pauses] What, proper fucked?
Turkish: Yes, before "Zee Germans" get there.

Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who the fuck are you?
Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Tommy: Are you sayin' I can't shoot?
Turkish: no Tommy, I'm not saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot, I'm just saying that piece of crap stuck in your pants would probably do more damage if you fed it to him.

[before Sol, Vinny, and Tyrone hold up the (unknowingly broke) bank]
Sol: What the fuck is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun Vincent.
Vinny: So, I wanna raise some pulses don't I?
Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

[while robbing the bookies]
Sol: Are you all right there Vincent?
Vinny: I would be a lot better if you stopped using my name.

Franky Four Fingers: So the biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin," which was a pretty easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But back then it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Roman Catholic church.

Mickey: Ah - deh sah-sez-fren-forcher, and dah scar-her-cushons, wit dah matsen-seck-way-Core-Ver

Sol: It won't open because it's a security door!

Ah what a great movie.