Hearing noises and wishing you were there

Today I was at childcare all day again (like I will be tomorrow) and all day long I could hear the distant roar of motor car racing, a true passion of mine. Throughout the day I was thinking to myself what the hell am I doing looking after kids when I could be trackside watching one of the biggest motor festivals in the world take place.

I still don't know whether I will go on sunday (if anyone is going let me know and I might tag along). I have been the past three years on the sunday and have enjoyed every minute of it. Hopefully next year I will be able to buy my four day grandstand tickets and go for the full four days, get pissed and watch cars race around a track is there nothing better.

In other news formula one has again started for the year (a little late I know). Due to the Commonwealth games however they have changed the date for the Melbourne Grand Prix. They have had the first two rounds in Baihran and Malaysia and in a week they will be in Australia once more. I would also like to go to Melbourne one year to see this motor event also.
This year the Formula V10 engines have been down graded to V8's, this may sound like a big deal however these engineers are so good you can hardly tell the difference and the lap times aren't suffering too much either. They also got rid of the stupid rule of not being able to change tires during a race (thankgod), however they are still keeping up with the engine having to last two rounds which still makes it challenging and interesting.

Anyway enough ranting about motor sport

I'll seeya all trackside

Ever write so much that your arm feels numb

Well thats what I have been doing writing and writing and you guessed it more writing, and my arm is actually getting quite numb. A bit like when you fall asleep on your arm, and wake up the next morning in a panic thinking someone has chopped it off while you were sleeping because you can no longer feel it. Thats how numb it is. And I also wake up like that quite often which can't be a good thing.

I have too much work to do which is quite gay. This is due to the fact i have to have my First week plan ready for the centre by Friday and I am still in the process of extracting information from my observations.

On another note after about 10 straight weeks of working Sunday's, this Saturday it is finally time for me to go out and party. That's right Ben is hitting the town once more so expect the return of the infamous pixie dance, and yes Marty I will be shaking your hand all night.

This weekend is again the time for the V8's to hit the streets of adelaide. I am usually there with my holden colours on however I haven't decided whether I am going to go this year due to the fact I will be having a huge night on Saturday night and the fact that I still have lots of work to do. In a few weeks however i will be saying goodbye to placement forever (until uni of course) and will only have a term left of my course.

So to all those who wish to join me on this saturday eve, give me a call and let me know, its going to be big.

45 and still alive

I was waiting to catch the bus this arvo in the lovely neighbourhood of Croydon (pigs arse) and these two middle age guys come stumbling down the street from the local Sip n Save with a 2 litre bottle of coke in one hand and a brown paper bag wrapped around some form of alocohol in the other. They must have stopped about ten times on the one little stretch of foot path that led from the bottle o to the bus station where I was sitting.

These guys are living the life aren't they. Two probably 50 year old men walking down the street completely fucked up with more booze in their hand that they bought with their dole money. Who the hell walks down the street at 3 o'clock in the arvo on a Monday pissed off their nut. Shouldn't you be working. They are either dole blugers or retired dole blugers now living off the pension.

All I can say is Croydon is the place to live if you want to get pissed on a monday arvo. Or be one of the teen pregnancy kids who had sex with their 15 year older boyfriend at the age of 16. What a world we live in.

B-I-N-G-O, and BINGO was his name Oh.

No I haven't gone completely insane from singing Bingo with the kiddies at placement, although it is quite fun. No last night I took up Matts advice and was dragged out of my comfort zome by Hails to Bingo at Bedford Industries.

Now i know what you are all thinking. Ben has finally admitted he is retarded and has joined the mentally retarded in their weekly game of Bingo, well I hate to disappoint but that is not the case. In fact it is more like that I have suddenly felt that i am "retiring age 65" and joined the oldies.

I must say it was quite a lot of fun and an easy way to make some money if you manage to win. It costs 4 bucks to play like 30 games and you win about 25 bucks if you get bingo. I decided just to play the one game on each game. However some of these oldies go nuts and have six cards to check as the numbers are being called. Normally that would be okay if you were playing bingo in a retirement home however this was like speed bingo with numbers coming out faster than I could cross them off. Anyway a good night was had and I think we might be going again next week for those interested.

Placement is really starting to get hard as I have a shit load of work to do and only a small amount of time to do it in. I have taken on the responsibilities of team leader in the centre for the kindy's and this means that I have to actually act responsible. In about 3 months I will be finishing this course and I could (if I wanted to) start working full time in a childcare centre looking after children and planning experiences to help their development. Believe me it's not as easy as throwing out some lego blocks and some paper and pencils and letting the children go wild. No we have to look through the SACSA document (daw you will know what I am talking about) and look at each individual child and determine what types of experiences wouold help them to develop different skills and understandings. It gets to be quite annoying really. I have three more weeks of placement followed by some much deserved holidays. Can't wait.

Make mine a double Bartender

Man life is gay at the moment my weeks consist of the following.

Monday - Tafe 9.30am - 4.00pm

Tuesday - Tafe 9.30am - 12.30pm, go home and do Tafe work

Wednesday - Childcare Placement 7 1/2 hours

Thursday - Childcare Placement 7 1/2 hours

Friday - Childcare Placement 7 1/2 hours

Saturday - Finally a sleep in then work in afternoon anywhere between 3 and 6 hours

Sunday - Work Woolies 8am - 5.30pm

As you can see I don't really have much time to myself and the time that I do have is usually spent doing Tafe work, sleeping and eating.

I am sick of working weekends and it has know been close to 3 months since I last went out on a Saturday night. I also can't remember the last time I got completely drunk and that is really quite depressing.

Hailey and my mates are the only things that are keeping me sane. I need to get out more.

This is also the reason why I haven't been posting much lately because my life is completely boring.

March 20th a holiday for the blokes

Okay I would like to thank Matt for opening my eyes to this unknown holiday for us blokes. Sorry this holiday is for the men with their own woman or if your lucky enough to pick one up on the day. I am not going to spoil the fun for you instead go to this website:

http://steakandblowjobday.g-spotting.net/

I think it explains it best. And to all you guys who spent all that time on Valentines Day enjoy.

Oh by the way.

I like my steaks medium rare.

You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

You may remember in an earlier post in this blogs life I quoted several lines out of one of my favourite movies, that movie being Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Well I now feel it is the time to open the doors to it's sister movie by Guy Richie. The ever lovable Snatch.

Brick Top: Do you know what a nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt— me.

Avi: Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What?
Avi: Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you mean, "Look in the dog"?
Avi: I mean open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's not a fucking tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?

Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

Avi: Eighty-six carats.
Rosebud: Where?
Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Avi: London.
Gemologist: London?
Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot over there?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight?! You could land a jumbo fucking jet in there.

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. And these two on either side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.

Sol: He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone?
Tyrone: 'course I am...
[reverses into parked van]
Vinny: A natural fucking idiot.
[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. It's not as though it's a bag of fucking peanuts now is it?Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind ya'

Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.

Turkish: [looks at the caravan] Look at it. How am I suppose to run this thing from that? We're gonna need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're going to buy it for me.
Tommy: Why me?
Turkish: Well, you know about caravans.
Tommy: How's that?
Turkish: You spent a summer in one, which means you know more than me. And I don't want to have my pants pulled down over the price.
Tommy: What's wrong with this one?
Turkish: [Pulls the caravan's door from its hinges] Oh, nothing, Tommy. It's tip-top. I'm just not sure about the colour.

Policeman: So, what you doin here?
Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman: What's in the car?
Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.

[His fighter has just been knocked out]
Tommy: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: You'll have to say that again, I don't think I heard you?
Tommy: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: Well where'd ya lose him? He's ain't a set of car keys, is he? It's not as though he's incon-fucking-spicuous, now is it?

Turkish: Well I reckon the little rabbit gets fucked.
Tommy: [pauses] What, proper fucked?
Turkish: Yes, before "Zee Germans" get there.

Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who the fuck are you?
Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Tommy: Are you sayin' I can't shoot?
Turkish: no Tommy, I'm not saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot, I'm just saying that piece of crap stuck in your pants would probably do more damage if you fed it to him.

[before Sol, Vinny, and Tyrone hold up the (unknowingly broke) bank]
Sol: What the fuck is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun Vincent.
Vinny: So, I wanna raise some pulses don't I?
Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

[while robbing the bookies]
Sol: Are you all right there Vincent?
Vinny: I would be a lot better if you stopped using my name.

Franky Four Fingers: So the biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin," which was a pretty easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But back then it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Roman Catholic church.

Mickey: Ah - deh sah-sez-fren-forcher, and dah scar-her-cushons, wit dah matsen-seck-way-Core-Ver

Sol: It won't open because it's a security door!

Ah what a great movie.

Ceppy, Telling us how it is.

Okay I know I am stealing this from Dutchy and Daw but considering they haven't been telling us how it is I thought I would instead.

There are a few things that have been really shitting me lately. They have fucked me off to the point that I am now going to tell you about them.

Firstly, something I am always bitching about, My work woolworths. Take today for instance I came in at 12.30 to find the bakery in complete shambles. There was no bread or freezer stock out and Teena who left at 12 had appeared to have done fuck all. Well let me say, you are a fucking useless bitch, go eat some more pie and decide on a gender you fucking fat slut.

Secondly, What the fuck has happened to all the music shows on Saturday and Sunday mornings. There used to be only T.V hits and Rage, now there are like 5 other ones. All of which involve crappy RnB and hip hop music. Stop fucking playing shit music, if I wanted to see topless black guys I would go to a fucking gay bar. Play some god damn normal music, fuck fuck.

Thirdly, The Rogue Traders. What the fuck kind of band are you, you fucking suck balls. Release a song that doesn't repeat the same words over and over again and someone might give a fuck about your fucked up music. Also get a fucking new singer who can actually sing and not just talk into a microphone. Maybe someone not from the set of nieghbours you fucking idiots.

Fourthly, What the fuck is with fucking bus drivers stopping there buses at a bus stop for 15 minutes when it should be moving along towards its destination. You fucking bus drivers are a bunch of fat fucks, no wonder you don't get paid well you fucking leave your buses sitting at bus stops all day when you should be driving people around you fucking fucks.

Fifthly, Fuck fucks fuck. Fucking lecturers who spend 3 hours dribbling on about fucking crap when they could do it in half the time, fucking hell you fuck me off.

Lost, get to the fucking point stop fucking drawing out episodes that tell you fuck all from the previous episode, it is fucking annoying. GET TO THE FUCKING POINT.

Fuck I am fucked off, fuckity fuck fuck.

A tribute to a role model in my life

Today at 3.15am my Pappa passed away. I knew it was coming and when my mom awoke me this morning and told me the news I was sad and relieved to see that he wasn't in any pain. I know it was his time to go and i have accepted that fact. It is still hard to lose someone so close.

The last time I saw him on Saturday morning I couldn't hold back the tears, it was too much to see him like he was. Then when my dad cried I was really put over the edge, I have never seen my father cry and something just triggered inside me when he did.

This blog is being posted so that there is an appreciation of his life, him being a loyal husband for over 50 years, a great father to my dad, untie and uncle, and the best grandfather I have ever known.

I hope that you are somewhere good Pappa. No one really knows if there is a place called heaven but I believe that you are there, looking down on us with Mum.

I am not that much of a spiritual person however I do believe that good people go to a good place when they die.




















In loving Memory, Rest in Peace Pop.

Quite an uneventful week.

Well as the title says I have had quite an uneventful week. I went to Tafe (which was boring) I sat at home and played some Age of Empires (that was fun). I also spent Valentines with Hails and went up to her new house last night to check it out (not bad, they will be much happier there).

I also picked up some work at OHSC at Mitcham. It was only 6 hours over 3 nights but that is still a good 80 bucks in my pocket, and it is piss easy work looking after kids.

Tonight I plan to go to Buzz's fairwell and get extremely drunk, should be a good night and I don't start work til 2.30 tomorrow so I can go out and get pissed.

Relating to my last post on the winter olympics, I was mistaken in that Steven Bradbury is not competing, thank you for pointing that out Wizza.

We also won our first gold medal for this olympics in the men's mogals competition. Our adopted son won who was originally from Canada now skiing for us Aussies. He is a 21 year old millionare as well as a Olympic champion.

Well that is about all for this week, like I've said pretty uneventful.

Illbeseeinya (did I still that from you snowman)

Winter Olympics, something interesting to watch.

Thats right it is that time, the 2006 Torino Winter Olympics in Italy have begun. And I say good. I really enjoy watching all the different winter sports that we Aussies don't normally get to see. At least for the next couple of weeks there will be something good to watch at night time.

Some of my favourite sports in the winter olympics include, the luge, bobsleigh and speed skating.

All I can say is those men and women on the luge are complete nutters. Going down a tube at 140km an hour, thats insane.

"I've got a great idea for a sport, dress up like a sperm, shove an ice skate up your arse, and go balls first down an ice tube."

At least if you were in a bobsleigh you wouldn't have as much chance of getting killed. I would be the guy at the back so I have three bodies in front of me to cushion the blow of impact.

All that the back three guys need to do is run at the start and then spend a minute with their heads down praying that the driver doesn't fuck up and kill them all.

And speed skating, well lets face it they just all look like wankers with those tight body suits on. However it is cool to watch. Wonder if Steven Bradbury can get lucky again this year.

The dutch usually dominate this sport, and I can just see dutchy in a tight suit sprinting round an ice ring on skates, hardcore my friend (have you ever tried it).

Well with that I shall say goodluck to our Australian team. Lets see if we can better our total of two gold medals this year (if they all go like the Australian in the biatholon we've got no hope, came 86 out of 89 competitors)

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.

The inevitable is some times too hard to bear

Today I went to see my Pop again. It was a day we had all been dreading. Pop has become to sick to stay at home. It was time for him to go to the Repat Hospital. Since I last saw him just over a week ago he has lost a lot of weight and was lying in his bed needing help to even get out.

We waited at my Nanas house for 2 hours until the Ambulance arrived to take him to the Repat Centre at Daw park.

In the past month he has gone downhill extremely fast. It is almost sublime to see the effects that cancer is having on him. With the way he is going he will probably only last a couple of weeks if that. It is hard to see someone you love dying.

My Pop is still cracking jokes and being the smart arse that we love just to make us feel comfortable. The fact that he hasn't eaten at all really in the past two weeks shows that he won't be around much longer.

It really started to hurt today, knowing that I will only see him a few more times, knowing that in a couple of weeks I will be carrying his coffin in a funeral service. It is hard to take in.

There is just too much reality to take in.

It's not that I don't love you, it's just, this one is better

On tueday I upgraded by existing iPod which was a 6G iPod mini, to the new 30G Video iPod. I managed to get it for $226 because I sold my mini to my brother for $200.

Now let me just say that technology has come a very long way and this little piece of hardware that I now own is extremely cool. It has all the features of my old iPod with a colour screen, photo library and video. With 30G of memory it can hold 7,500 mp3, 48,000 photos, and 150 hours of video. What more could you ask for?

It also looks really cool seen below:





















The black front with the silver back looks awesome and the big 2 1/5 inch colour screen looks great.


All I can say is I am a very happy man now that I have my new iPod and it will bring me much joy. I mean come on I can put porn on it and watch it where ever I go. Now thats cool.

Looks like its back to the old drawing board

Thats right you heard today I officially went back to Tafe after having only left like 6 weeks ago. What the fuck?

Anyway same old boring crap as usual and I found myself struggling to keep awake. This was mainly due to the fact that I was working all weekend.

I have come to a conclusion on the other hand though. I am a woolworths slut. There are many reasons which lead me to believe this statement.

• I work mostly weekends (like a lot of prostitutes)
• Woolworths are constantly calling me up to say that I have to work for them
• I go to work and get abused and fucked all day long
• If things don't go woolworths way they sometimes fuck me up the arse
• They also tend to want me to stay longer which also fucks me up
• I get paid by the hour to do what woolworths tells me to do

In other words woolworths is a dirty old man who picks up prostitutes i.e. Me, and fucks them all, over and over again. I am sure that this metophor can be used for most people who hate their jobs.

If I truley was a bitch I would earn my weekly wage of around 200 bucks in 15 minutes of sucking dick. Thats the reality.

Wooworths + Me = One ugly scene.

Wheelchair sports, the good, the bad, and the ugly

Yesterday I went to Tommy Rodens house for a good old fashion barbecue with some mates. It was a good day full of eating drinking and playing sports. The good thing about Tommy's house is that there is a park directly behind it and you can walk out his back gate into it. A lot of football and soccer took place on this arena and some good fun was had.

Then the day turned to competition and wheel chair slalom began. It was a tough course and many were battered and hurt along the way.

Some pics to show you the events of the day.















The challenging course involved weaving through the chairs, around the one at the back, weaving past the other chair and through the finish, magical stuff here.





















Borgas mentally preparing himself for the challenge ahead.
















Danny making a valiant but pathetic attempt to break the record (he is about to fall flat on his face).
















Borgas taking on the difficult U turn at the end of the course.

















Borgas showing off some flashy burnouts.


At the end of the day it was I who came out on top. With some perfect runs and good technique I posted the three top times of the day making me the clear winner.

1. 15.3 sec
2. 16.5 sec
3. 17 sec

No one could beat my time of 16.5 seconds until I stepped up again and beat my PB by over a second. All I can say is that it is a great achievement for me, all those years of playing wheelchair soccer in primary school have paid off.

But in more bragging rights I have finally beaten Borgas at something and therefore are better than him, hahahahaha, it's about time. (one day I'll beat you at tennis though mate, you're bound to have an off day sooner or later and that's when I'll pounce)

All in all it was a great day, many thanks to Tommy and his hospitality.

I have a dream, that one day, in every backyard Australian BBQ, wheelchair races will take place in the spirit of competition.

We can only dream my friends, we can only dream.

O.C, Bringing back the plots we all love to hate.

Okay I like my mate lucas am a big fan of the O.C. I am not quite the addict like he is, in other words I don't own the first two seasons on DVD and have pictures of the cast around my room, but I do like to watch each episode to see what is going down in Orange County.

Last night I watched the newly anticipated third season return of the O.C and was quite shocked at how they overcame the whole Trey being shot by Merissa incident. I agree with Lucas in his post that evidence from the crime scene would lead to the person who really shot the gun, but this wasn't what interested me the most.

The fact that when Trey woke up from his coma the first person he saw was Julie Cooper Nickle who proceeded to bribe Trey with 20,000 to put blame on his brother is far more interesting to me. So what is wrong with this picture, gee let me think. Wouldn't you think that the first people that Trey would see would be the friendly faces of the local authorities asking him questions about what happened and not the mother of the girl he tried to rape. Therefore he would have told the truth from the start and we could have bypassed Ryan being put behind bars for the millionth time in the shows history.

I know it is all for the drama of the show but I mean come on people, shit like this doesn't happen in real life. I guess thats what makes us all addicted to the show.

So I will continue to watch the O.C and enjoy it.

In other news House returns tonight, a much better and much more believable show. Hugh Laurie what a crack up.

What ever happened to living life to the fullest

In the past few months I have begun to notice changes in the way I live my life. There are a number of factors that have impacted on this including the increase in work at Tafe, Woolworths constantly screwing me around and the much needed time spent with the girlfriend.

A year ago I was a party animal, single and loving it. I liked nothing more than going out and getting pissed every saturday night and not caring about the repercussions it had on me. How life can change. I am not saying that having a girlfriend is a bad thing just that I have toned down on being too much of a party animal (Just covering my arse here hails).

It has been months since I went out and got ridiculously drunk and had an absolute fantastic night and it is something that I miss dearly.

Well this is going to change. This being the year of my 21st birthday (which is going to be huge) I have decided to try and start living life to the fullest once again (perhaps I should team up with party borgas for a good time hey Matt).

The other fact is that midway through this year I will finish my Tafe course and get my diploma in Children's Services. Therefore around July I will start my 9 months off before I can go to Uni. This means one thing, PARTY. I will be living it up over this period and enjoying some much deserved freedom. I will also be planning my 21st extravaganza.

So buckle your seat belts and hold on because this year is going to be one wild ride.





















An artists impression of me in a good night out, either that or this is me in hell.

Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?

No one is every sure of what the future holds for them. People make decisions everyday that effect the course of the rest of their lives.

So how I ask you do we know that we are doing the right things with our lives. So many decisions in life not knowing what are right and what are wrong.

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

(Ewan McGregor - Trainspotting)

I often doubt some of my decisions in life. There are lot's of things I want to do but I will never get the chance to do them. Take for instance the career path I am taking, sometimes I wonder whether it is what I really want to do, I don't think I will enjoy it as much as some other career paths, but having gone so far and done a lot of the work it seems pointless to give it all away now.

Music is my true passion and I sometimes wonder whether I am wasting my talent in this area.

A song written by one of my favourite bands questions life and decisions,


Oh brother I can’t, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you 'cause I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you

You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung or do
Something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they’re talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung or do
Something that's never been done, do
Something that's never been done

So you don't know where you're going and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all, let's talk Let's talk, let's talk, let's talk

(Coldplay - Talk)

Time to say goodbye is not always enough

The end of life is something that every human being has in commmon at some stage in their life whether it is a 7 year old boy killed in a car accident or a 98 year old woman whose heart finally gives up. The thing about it is that no one knows when their time is up and we are constantly living in fear as to when our time is up.

One day you can be as fit and as healthy as you every were and the next day you have a sore shoulder, you go to the doctor who tells you you have 12 months to live and 2 months later you are being buried with family and friends wondering how you could fall so fast.

About a month ago my pop was diagnosed with liver cancer and about 3 to 6 months to live. Now I am not saying he hasn't had a bad run because at 84 he has lived the life he has wanted. However it is hard to take in that someone who had such a huge part in my growing up will not be around forever. I mean I knew that eventually my pop would die but you never expected it to happen, and when it does you begin to regret not spending the time with them that you wanted to.

As of late I have been going down to see him and my nanna as often as possible while he is still able to hold communication and give out hugs that bring back my childhood. I know that soon it will be over for him however it is still hard to let go of the people who had a huge impact on the person and the morals that I hold today.

Death is something that I have faced too many times in my life especially when having no recollection of the person who brought me into the world. I mean it does mean that I don't show any feeling towards my mother because I never knew her, but I wish that I had the chance to get to know her as her son. Instead I am told by family how much I remind them of her and what she was like. The way I have the same laugh and the same joy for life as she did. So I guess in a sense I am like a replacement for her. Now I am not saying I am ungrateful for the mother I do have because I am not, I am just saying that I wish I had th chance to sit down and talk to my mother and get to know and see what people tell me about her.

My pop is begining to forget things and repeat questions, but instead of being angry I just answer them again and again so that he doesn't feel like he is doing anything wrong. It is hard to see the man who lifted me onto his shoulders as a toddler and let me sit on his lap to steer the car into the garage unable to move around easily.

All I can say is that life goes on and sooner rather than later he will be gone. All I aim to do is spend as much time with him as possible until that day arrives.

Do we really have to go, the little man on the bike just came on

Well I am back from my holiday in the sunny Gol Coast or should I say the not so sunny Gold Coast due to the bad weather. It was 42 degrees here in adelaide while it was raining in Surfers Paradise (go figure). Perhaps the sunshine coast would be better next time due to the fact the fact claims it is sunny.

Anyway much fun was had over the seven days, a lot of shopping, lot's of sight seeing and many theme parks. I am really tired.

I got to catch up with my cousin Claire and her partner Adam which was god and they showed us around before we went and stayed at our apartment for 5 days.

Well I let the pictures tell the rest of the story, I took about 370 of them so no I won't be putting them all on.















The start of our holiday this is down at Coolangatta at one of the best surfing spots in Australia
















The view across to Surfers Paradise from Coolangatta (The tall building in the middle is Q1 the tallest residential apartment building in the world)
















My cousins partner Adam cooking a good old aussie barby out the front of their house
















View from our apartment in Surfers Paradise (one street away from the main hive of surfers)





















The Q1 building (72 floors)





















Views north from the Q1 building





















Views south from the Q1 building
















Condom Kingdom (one of the many quality shops in the heart of Surfers Paradise)
















At seaworld the resident dugong (how cool are they)
















Oh a nice happy snap (this was us waiting for the seal show to start)
















One of the many pictures of the seal show
















A polar bear having a fun time playing with an empty water container
















A nice view from the sky carrage at seaworld





















Warner Brothers Movieworld (it may look nice but it pissed down with rain for most of the day)





















Hailey and her new man (aarrrgggggggghhh an ogre, well if thats what turns you on love)





















Some wonderful weather we are having, huh.





















Me hanging out with my boys
















Police acadamey stunt show (who doesn't like to see things explode)





















The new superman ride (0-100km in 2 sec) Weather shut it down for the day, but I would have gone on it if it hadn't be, sure no problem, well maybe anyway. (100ft high)
















Wet and wild was the highlight for me (I love water parks) this was us at the end of mammoth falls.
















Mammoth falls (soooooo much fun)
















A couple more of the water slides all of which I went on, the twister on the left was insane and very fast.

















Our favourite slide the 8 way racer (adam seen far right won everytime due to the fact he went before the green light, hence the 0 above him disqualified)

All in all it was a good trip, I may post some more photos at a later date but I think this will do for now.