The end of life is something that every human being has in commmon at some stage in their life whether it is a 7 year old boy killed in a car accident or a 98 year old woman whose heart finally gives up. The thing about it is that no one knows when their time is up and we are constantly living in fear as to when our time is up.
One day you can be as fit and as healthy as you every were and the next day you have a sore shoulder, you go to the doctor who tells you you have 12 months to live and 2 months later you are being buried with family and friends wondering how you could fall so fast.
About a month ago my pop was diagnosed with liver cancer and about 3 to 6 months to live. Now I am not saying he hasn't had a bad run because at 84 he has lived the life he has wanted. However it is hard to take in that someone who had such a huge part in my growing up will not be around forever. I mean I knew that eventually my pop would die but you never expected it to happen, and when it does you begin to regret not spending the time with them that you wanted to.
As of late I have been going down to see him and my nanna as often as possible while he is still able to hold communication and give out hugs that bring back my childhood. I know that soon it will be over for him however it is still hard to let go of the people who had a huge impact on the person and the morals that I hold today.
Death is something that I have faced too many times in my life especially when having no recollection of the person who brought me into the world. I mean it does mean that I don't show any feeling towards my mother because I never knew her, but I wish that I had the chance to get to know her as her son. Instead I am told by family how much I remind them of her and what she was like. The way I have the same laugh and the same joy for life as she did. So I guess in a sense I am like a replacement for her. Now I am not saying I am ungrateful for the mother I do have because I am not, I am just saying that I wish I had th chance to sit down and talk to my mother and get to know and see what people tell me about her.
My pop is begining to forget things and repeat questions, but instead of being angry I just answer them again and again so that he doesn't feel like he is doing anything wrong. It is hard to see the man who lifted me onto his shoulders as a toddler and let me sit on his lap to steer the car into the garage unable to move around easily.
All I can say is that life goes on and sooner rather than later he will be gone. All I aim to do is spend as much time with him as possible until that day arrives.
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